Why I decided to travel solo

In less than a month I’ll be traveling solo for the very first time without knowing anyone! Almost every time I tell someone, they immediately ask “Why?” or “Aren’t you going to be lonely?”. Only once or twice I got the reaction “Wow, that’s awesome!” or “Wow, that’s amazing and strong of you!”. I even got the reaction of someone who asked “Are you sick of your best friend?” (how rude and stupid to think such a thing). That’s why I decided to write about my decision. To make something clear to the world. The world of people who still think life is all about finding the right person for you, starting a family, be part of an item and become a “We”. Those people who think that’s the “normal” thing to do. Well to you it might be, but that doesn’t mean that’s the case for everyone. Not everyone wants to become a “we”. May this article be recognizable to the strong women out there and an inspiration to the ones who feel a little lonely.

I’m single for about 6 years now. Yes, that’s a long time. Stop thinking “what’s wrong with her? There must be something wrong”, “She’s probably too picky”, “She needs to get out more”… These are all preconceptions that mean nothing. I don’t think there’s something wrong with me  (dear friends, if there is, please tell me now!) and about being picky; if I don’t meet anyone who knocks me off my feet, that’s not my fault. You can’t force being attracted to someone. It’s just something that has to happen. Yes, I tried the internet dating thing. But that was in a desperate period, when I was still thinking I needed someone to be normal and complete.

My point; there’s nothing wrong with being single, even if some people obviously think there is. Because they keep saying “You should find someone”. And then I think “Why?”. Let me tell you something; the first time my spontaneous reaction was “Why?” I realized there was nothing wrong with me, but there was something wrong with the others, with “them”. You know, the “we’s” of this world. The ones who think you can only be completely happy when you find the love of your life. Let me tell you that I’m perfectly happy on my own. I do as I please. I value my family and friends who are there for me every time I need them. The ones that appreciate me, ask me how I am once in a while, who make time for me (not only when it’s convenient). And of course I do the same for them. Because that’s what friendship is about. Being there for each other. It’s a two way street. But if I have friends, why do I decide to travel solo to Istanbul?

Sometimes I hear someone saying “Oh no, my boyfriend/husband is away for 2 days, now I have to sleep alone in the house! I won’t be able to sleep! What if something happens?”. Then I just laugh out loud in my head. The same with the questions combined with big scared eyes that came immediately after my solo travel statement “Aren’t you going to be lonely?”. All I can think then is; “You are weak.” Because these reactions tell me more about you than about me. They tell me you aren’t independent and strong. No, I won’t be lonely because I’m used to being by myself all the time. I can perfectly enjoy time on my own. It’s wonderful! If I want to do something in company I’ll call my friends. But there’s nothing wrong with spending time on your own and being independent! I truly appreciate the reactions of my strong female acquaintances “Wow that’s an amazing thing to do!”. Because I know they understand and they aren’t in a “we” relationship. They have their own lives ànd a boyfriend or husband.

There’s nothing more dangerous than becoming dependent on someone. Whether it’s a parent, a partner, a friend, you have to be able to be strong on your own! That’s why I refuse to become a “we”. Even if I meet “the love of my life” someday. I will always be I. I will spend time with friends, travel with friends. (because your true friends are the ones that will always be there) My time will be divided between me, my friends, family and him. I refuse to build my world around any other, but me. My world, my life will always be about me, because there’s only one life to spend. This has nothing to do with selfishness. It’s about being able to create your own luck and making choices how you want to spend your time (and with whom). That’s why I decided to travel solo!

I want to discover what it’s like to travel on my own. Exploring the foreign streets of Istanbul with full attention. I can’t wait to see what will happen, what people I will meet. Of course I wonder if I’ll get lonely. Sure there will be moments where I will miss my travel buddy and bestie. But I will be so happy, knowing that I can do it on my own as well! And maybe I will travel solo more in the future then! That doesn’t mean I won’t travel with my best friend anymore??? It means I will broaden my horizon. I will become even more independent and learn more about life! And I will have stories to tell to the people who want to hear it. I will be proud of myself.

So next time you’ll throw a pitty look at me, think again. I’m not lonely, I pitty you for not being able to be on your own. Oh and I’m allergic to the word “We” in case you haven’t noticed yet. Please be you! Stay the unique you. Someone who can share moments with the other “I”s, but who also can experience life on their own.

Dedicated to my family and true friends. You know who you are. I love you!